That said, Sarah Palin MUST BE STOPPED. I wouldn't leave her in charge of raking my yard. I'd come home to find that all my rakes have been converted to screaming idiots who think my leaves are Socialists, hell bent on creating a 'Saw Panel' that would decide which trees in the yard need to come down. Seriously, the woman is unhinged. I think a study of her new 'memoir' should be the center piece of some post-modernist Graduate level college class. She should also get her own section in the next edit of the DSM IV.
And who is to blame for this mess? Well, it's John McCain, of course. Now, I'm not a McCain basher. He's probably my favorite former POW, to be honest. The man knows how to marry up...I mean, if you're going to throw your crippled ex under the bus, you better do it while sacking up with a Beer Heiress. That's just common fucking sense. So how did McCain make this mistake? How did McCain thrust this crazy woman into the limelight, and almost put her within a flubbed defibrillator of the Oval Office? He was clearly just doing what most men would do when faced with a tough decision...he went and asked his penis. And fellas, we all know that our phallus is no substitute for common sense.
I don't think McCain could have known the damage he set loose. I mean, that kid in Gremlins meant well when he fed those little furry things after midnight, but fuck all if that didn't end poorly. And so, here we are a year later, watching the 'brain trust' of the GOP fall even further into irrelevancy, oblivion, and ideological nonsense. 'The Party of No', as I like to call them, just doesn't have the stones to step up and tell idiots like Palin to shut the hell up. Anytime I see 'Palin/Beck 2012', a part of me dies. Whenever I see Palin tote her little extra chromosomed spawn out like a Political Football, a bigger piece of me dies. How someone so disingenuous, dangerous, and something else that starts with the letter 'd' can put herself in a position of such importance in our great democracy...well, that's just a travesty. So, when you go home tonight and turn the news on, and you see Palin's mug lying through her teeth about whatever it is she's talking about, blame John McCain's penis.
