Coakley Sucks, But She's Gonna Win

I just want to put this out there, somewhere...I've been following this crapfest of a Massachusetts Senate race, and all the fallout it's creating, etc...I think we will wind up with a huge case study on how not to set up a 'likely voter model' for special elections with National exposure in the future.  I think the Dem eeks this one out by a couple of points, and the GOP throws a huge hissy fitt, and churns millions of dollars of retainer fees for MA lawyers. 

Johnson Chimes In...

Churches said it best, there's nothing like turning a blind eye on your newborn blog in its precious first few weeks. These are the weeks it needs us the most! It's like we stepped out for a pack of smokes & never come home! Well, have no fear...we're home now. Yeah, we've been gone for most of the first few weeks, but the fact that we're here now has gotta count for something, right? We've been thinking some things over. Yes, we still love you, no this isn't your fault...well, to a point it is, yes, but overall it's mostly us, not you.

Johnson here. This post is my not so grand entrance. A little background: Churches & Johnson went to college together. Their brains came up with some astounding shit (like, an astounding quantity of astounding shit) & they were more or less ignored by the elite thinkers of the late 90s. Now, with time to look back, folks are starting to come around. These men were ahead of their time. That great idea you just had? We had that same idea five years ago, only it was BETTER. This blog is exactly how that idea was better. And if we weren't so lazy, we would've changed the world with it first.

Okay, we're not *REALLY* egomaniacs. Just for the sake of comedy. We're honestly both pretty humble. More humble than probably 99% of the country. Except the Amish. They've defeated us in the annual Pennsylvania Humble-Off five years running. It's a point of contention for Churches, so I won't mention it again.

Anyway, it's December & we will inevitably be talking about Albums of the Year soon. Stay tuned.

Hiatus!

Start a blog, then bail.  I'm like the Deadbeat Dad of Blogging.  Well, son, Daddy's home, so let's go out and throw the ball around.  Seriously, just didn't have time to do anything here over the Holiday.  Trying to get back into the swing of things again, and should catch a nice rhythm here.  Stay tuned.

Concert Preview: Son Volt

I don't get to go to music concerts as much as I used to.  Diverting funds from the 'entertainment' kitty over to things like diaper cream is one reason.  Another is a true lack of good bands coming through the Greenville, SC marketplace.  It used to be, we'd get at least half a dozen decent acts through our small territory every year.  Now?  I've got to travel to Asheville, Atlanta, Charlotte, or Columbia to see something in my musical wheelhouse.  It's not that my tastes have changed from what's hip, either.  If anything, I'm cooler musically than I have ever been.  My city, on the other hand, has gone the other direction. 

The main venue in town is The Handlebar, a small dive of a place that has an impressive cast of previous acts, but has taken it's business model away from what got them there, and followed that tried and true method of packing douchebags in to see a cover band.

Tonight, all that is forgiven, as Son Volt comes to town.  This will be the third time I've seen Son Volt, with both previous times coming also at The Handlebar.  The first time was 2005, in support of Okemah and the Melody of Riot.  I flew solo for that show, which was a mid-week affair that I couldn't convince Kate to tag along with.  That show was amazing, and cemented them in my lexicon of great artists of our generation, and convinced me that I should see them every opportunity.

I saw them a second time in support of The Search, which I thought was a little less of an overall album, but still pretty damned solid.  That show was maybe a step down from their peak in 2005, but it was well worth the admission price.  Farrar crafts his folk inspired country/rock just to my liking, and did so on that night, leaving my ears ringing and happy.

I have been slack in checking out the newest material, which came out in July.  I believe it was a little more stripped down/folky than the last couple, so we could get a more intimate performance.  This would be awesome for old school Son Volt songs, like 'Windfall', but I need to have my face melted with some 'Jet Pilot' or 'Drown'.

For at least one night, my lame little music town plays with the big boys.  Sure, they aren't the biggest rock band in the world, as their severed half Wilco could possibly claim to be, but they own a nice sized slice in the Awesome Pie that we all like to dine on.  Post show review to come, including a recap of beer quantity consumed, puffy bangs spotted, and whether or not challenges of 'Freebird' were accepted.

What in the Sarah Palin is going on here?

Listen, I'm all about women in places of power. Just look at my household...after having a little girl, I'm now #3 on the Org Chart in my household. I'm cool with that. Generally speaking, there's no difference between the decision making power of the different sexes.

That said, Sarah Palin MUST BE STOPPED. I wouldn't leave her in charge of raking my yard. I'd come home to find that all my rakes have been converted to screaming idiots who think my leaves are Socialists, hell bent on creating a 'Saw Panel' that would decide which trees in the yard need to come down. Seriously, the woman is unhinged.  I think a study of her new 'memoir' should be the center piece of some post-modernist Graduate level college class.  She should also get her own section in the next edit of the DSM IV.  

And who is to blame for this mess? Well, it's John McCain, of course. Now, I'm not a McCain basher. He's probably my favorite former POW, to be honest. The man knows how to marry up...I mean, if you're going to throw your crippled ex under the bus, you better do it while sacking up with a Beer Heiress. That's just common fucking sense.

So how did McCain make this mistake?  How did McCain thrust this crazy woman into the limelight, and almost put her within a flubbed defibrillator of the Oval Office?  He was clearly just doing what most men would do when faced with a tough decision...he went and asked his penis.  And fellas, we all know that our phallus is no substitute for common sense.

I don't think McCain could have known the damage he set loose.  I mean, that kid in Gremlins meant well when he fed those little furry things after midnight, but fuck all if that didn't end poorly.  And so, here we are a year later, watching the 'brain trust' of the GOP fall even further into irrelevancy, oblivion, and ideological nonsense.  'The Party of No', as I like to call them, just doesn't have the stones to step up and tell idiots like Palin to shut the hell up.  Anytime I see 'Palin/Beck 2012', a part of me dies.  Whenever I see Palin tote her little extra chromosomed spawn out like a Political Football, a bigger piece of me dies.  How someone so disingenuous, dangerous, and something else that starts with the letter 'd' can put herself in a position of such importance in our great democracy...well, that's just a travesty.  So, when you go home tonight and turn the news on, and you see Palin's mug lying through her teeth about whatever it is she's talking about, blame John McCain's penis.

Welcome to The People Vs Churches & Johnson!

You are about to be gobsmacked with the tenacity of a million suns and the gentleness of a million snuggly bunnies, piling on you all at once. A million bunnies is heavy, btw.

RonPete is in the building, and that usually means things are about to blow up. Like a Michael Bay wet dream.

ABAP - As Brazen As Possible